well, friends, its been something else these past few weeks. So much can be said for the ways that you all surrounded matt and i while we grieved, and the ways that you prayed- oh, how you prayed! its been beautiful to see the love of Christ poured out bodily for us. Thank you, dear friends. We have felt your love and we hope that one day you will feel ours for you as tangibly as we have felt yours.

When we first found out that we lost our baby, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I tried to shut you all out so that I could deal with my grief privately. This seemed right and good to me. When else could grief be more acceptably private then when dealing with the death of a child that only you and your husband were given the chance to truly love? I was soon confronted with how wrong this belief was. My friend Jordan came to be with me the day after, whether I liked it or not, she came. I wasn’t sure how well it would go to spend 24 plus hours with her, and share my grief so intense…. but  it was beautiful. not only did i share my grief, I saw her mourn alongside me, too. It made my burden lighten. A few days after I went to my church office and my pastors interrupted their important meeting to touch me and pray for me. I felt like the burden was so heavy that I couldn’t stand, but once again, it was lightened as others cried where my tears were dried up. Their love supported me. The Sunday after we lost our baby, we went to church. I didn’t want to. I was afraid to be that vulnerable in such a public place. Derek Webb was there and he sang a song called “this too shall be made right” and one of the lines was “there’s a time for babies to die, and this too shall be made right.”  I lost it, friends. I felt like the spotlight was on and I would’ve paid everything in my bank account to be beamed up by scottie right at that moment.

But just then I realized something- something that my pastor has said many times, and I just then understood- in the Christian  life, nothing in private. its true that some things are personal- but NOTHING is private. This was not my burden alone to bear, not even mine and matt’s alone. This loss belongs to the body of Christ, and I have never been more grateful, or more humbled to belong to you all. i love you dearly and I thank you for crying with me as I have cried, and having faith for me as I have had faith.

blessings and glory to Christ’s holy name forever and ever.

-Little Meghan