I’ve been playing tug o’ war with God again. I keep telling Him to take all of me and then yanking the nastier parts far from Him. I know how to give Him my talents, after all He gave them to me first. I even know how to give Him the parts of me that I wouldn’t know what to do with anyway…. but my fears? my addictions? my comforts? I would not surrender them. They are mine, you see. He didn’t give them to me. I acquired them over time. and I nourished them. I cultivated them in to the fine, high standing weeds that they are today. I toiled over them, and now they stand tall over me. comforting me with their familiarity. showing me where I’ve been with them. But not anymore. Old comforts, you were never my friends. Fears, you did me so much harm and kept me from seeing my Rescuer. addictions, you beat me and left me for dead. and because of these things, i hesitantly and passionately give them to my Saviour. Let me never look to those things for a small portion of what my God can provide again. I marvel that the Lord would even want these nasty things, but He does. He wants them so that He can destroy them and keep me from viewing Him in all of His splendor. He has been slow to anger and full of love as He gently persuaded me to let go. and now they are gone. Praise His Name forever. amen.